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| Don't Tell Me What to Do, Just Send Money : The Essential Parenting Guide to the College Years | 
 enlarge | Authors: Helen E. Johnson, Christine Schelhas-miller
Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin
Category: Book
List Price: $16.95
Buy New: $8.64
You Save: $8.31 (49%)
New (5) Used (8) from $2.78
Avg. Customer Rating:  12 reviews
Sales Rank: 921404
Format: Bargain Price
Media: Paperback
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 368
Shipping Weight (lbs): 1.4
Dimensions (in): 8.8 x 6.7 x 0.9
ASIN: B0002Y6ACG
Publication Date: June 17, 2000
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
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| Editorial Reviews:
Amazon.com Review
Parenting a college-bound student is a tricky business--combining your emotional and financial support with your child's newfound independence can seem nearly impossible. The authors of Don't Tell Me What to Do, Just Send Money are all too familiar with these difficulties and have created a practical guide that addresses specific situations and provides effective guidelines for changing the parent-child relationship. Topics are addressed frankly, and many parents may have trouble reading the sections concerning controversial subjects such as drug and alcohol use, birth control, homosexuality, and changes in religious and political beliefs. The emphasis here is not on changing your kid's mind about any of these things, but rather how parents can approach these sensitive topics while maintaining a positive and honest relationship. Most pages contain small text boxes highlighting what's on your mind and what's on your child's mind, as well as practical lists suggesting what to do and what to avoid, and these can be extremely helpful as a quick reference when faced with a sudden announcement from your student who's decided to change majors, stop living in the dorm, or study abroad. With a down-to-earth tone and clear insight into the minds of both parents and college students, this is an easy-to-read book that manages to handle difficult topics without preaching or downplaying important events. Ultimately, this book aims to help parents and their nearly adult children make the transition to a new kind of relationship, ideally one that is open and mutually respectful. With careful reading and consideration, the suggestions presented will help create a handy road map to lead you through the twists and turns of parenting your college student. --Jill Lightner
Product Description
Finally, a Dr. Spock for College ParentsDoes your daughter call home in tears over the latest "crisis," leaving you feeling helpless and concerned? Is your son confused about his major? When children leave for college many parents feel uncertain about their shifting role. By emphasizing the importance of being a mentor, Don't Tell Me What to Do, Just Send Money shows that parents may have lost control over their college student, but they haven't lost influence.Brimming with humorous case examples and realistic dialogues, this comprehensive guide covers the fundamental college issues, including:* Preparing for College: what to bring, how to stay in touch, and how to handle money* Adjusting Socially: roommates, stress, time management, and Greek life* The Search for Identity: intimate relationships, choosing a major, and lifestyle and value decisions* Handling Crises: depression, drug and alcohol abuse, dropping out, and eating disorders* Postgraduate Choices: job hunting, internships, and graduate schools
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| Customer Reviews: Read 7 more reviews...
 Comforting to parents July 16, 2008
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
The authors do a thorough job of presenting just about any scenario that could possibly take place in college, good or bad. They go into great detail about what parents and students might be thinking in any given situation. I especially liked the "What to do" and "What to avoid" lists for parents. They might help stem some parental overreaction and allow cooler heads to prevail. Obviously, as evidenced by the sheer number of topics discussed, from educational to social choices, there is a lot to think - and worry - about once you've let go of your child and allowed them to start making many of their own decisions.
Drawn-out, fictional dialogue used to portray possible situations while it might help some parents to visualize events, some of us would prefer a descriptive paragraph or two instead. And, while the book is directed at kids entering college, much of the advice applies to grown kids who leave home without college as their goal.
This book offers comfort to parents, especially those whose first child is going off to college and they are having trouble letting go. In any case, it is best to be prepared for both the routine and sometimes unexpected situations as they occur, and this book does a good job of educating parents from the beginning to end. 50 Ways to Leave Your Mother
 great info February 13, 2008
At first glance of the title page, this book looks corny. However, inside it is filled with a lot of very useful and practical advice.
 An okay book . . . August 7, 2006
4 out of 8 found this review helpful
if you really need it. Personally, I thought some of the scenarios were more likely to have occured during the high school years than during college. For instance, the one in which the girl in college becomes jealous of her single mother's time and attention when the mother starts dating. I would expect someone who is considered mature enough to go off to college to be mature enough to handle the fact that mom has a love life. As for the sections devoted to parents who harrass the university faculty/staff on behalf of their kids - surely these folks are aberrations? When she was in HS, I sometimes intervened in situations but over the last three years, my daughter has grown into a mature, poised and intelligent young woman and as such I expect her to handle these things on her own. I would never dream of intervening in an academic situation on her behalf now. It's frankly none of my business.
From a College Faculty Member October 22, 2005
10 out of 25 found this review helpful
Faculty, administrators, and staff all over the country have experienced growing problems with the "Net" or "Echo Boomer" generation, aged 17-24 years old. Poor work habits, a weak work ethic, an exaggerated sense of entitlement, disrespectful and destructive behavior in the classroom, and lack of responsbility plague American college classrooms because of this generation. It is not truly new; the addition of parents who cling, refuse to take responsbilitiy themselves, and are frequently deluded into believing that "baby Einstein" deserves nothing less than a Nobel Prize simply for coming to class--this is the dimension that is new.
Parents should educate themselves about college policies, student development, and their own psychological issues. This book is a start. Begin with the Federal Educational Right to Privacy Act, or FERPA. Even if you pay for junior's education, you may NOT legally access information without explicit, documented, and directed consent of the student. Furthermore, it is the STUDENT who must understand Code of Conduct and Academic Standards policies.
Furthermore, ask yourself if YOU would hire a worker who: does not come to work on time and frequently leaves early, who allows cell phones to buzz through important meetings and works on personal materials on your time, leaves for weeks at a time and expects management to "catch them up to speed", who does little or no work and complains when work is assigned, will not turn in material in a timely manner, and when questioned sends relatives or friends to you to "DISCUSS" "your problem." FYI: this could be YOUR son or daughter!
Excellent morale support October 10, 2005
6 out of 6 found this review helpful
I found this book to be a great resource dealing with sending our first child off to college. It was helpful knowing his uncharacteristic behavior was normal, and comforting to know other parents have experienced the same. I was surprised to find not only behaviors explained, but great advise regarding the financial puzzles new to first time college parents. This book is a must for parents of college-bond children!
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